I often wonder what triggers change in us. An impending age clock up, life event, dramatic life trauma. This notion that something big, a catalyst has to happen before you change course needs to stop.
Self-love has been a topic of discussion recently yet it focuses solely on body image and accepting our appearance feeling confident in your skin, yet no emphasis is placed on our characteristics our traits, our personality and self-identity. With respect to mental health awareness, not enough emphasis is placed on young women being confident, bossy, speaking up and taking ownership of their being irrespective of body image and appearance. Knowing what they want out of life and tackling it full throttle.
Ask yourself if you met yourself would you like you? What are your views about yourself? Despite your looks who is the woman you want to be. What do you have to offer? Are you fully comfortable with who you as a person, are you exercising your full potential?
Many times, through the day I find myself self-doubting, questioning my actions or responses that I have given to people. Should I have said that, why did I say that, why didn’t I ask the question, stuck up for myself. You repeat hypothetical scenarios, coupled with snappy and witty answers you would have given, had you had the balls; the confidence. Why is being brave even referred to as having balls? All they do is hang. More on that on a different day!
As I was saying- You sometimes feel that you have let yourself down, because you somehow haven’t been true to yourself. That inner you, the true and real you, has been let down because you haven’t stuck up for her. Why as women have we been taught that speaking up is too brazen? As females we almost subconsciously practice this ancient form of ‘be seen (look pretty) but do not be heard.’ It’s the reason we don’t tell men to piss off when they shout out “smile love!”. An order! Instead we awkwardly smirk as in obligation to their demand and scurry along with our faces to the pavement.
I previously did a video on YouTube regarding confidence, you can find it here. I have been on a journey of growth this year, and continuously thinking of ways to improve myself. Self-help books aside, I have wanted to become proactive about the changes I want to make in my life so that they are apparent. They are put into action. I want to network, expand my perspective and experience new culture, challenge myself and continue to learn and broaden my horizons.
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You shouldn’t have to rely on people to tell you to change. You do not need permission or the go ahead to allow yourself to improve. Change is often parallel to fear and because of this as humans we become susceptible to comfortability. We fear shaking off the cocoon incase we don’t like the wings we may end up with. By seeking approval from people to change, by waiting for an event to be a catalyst and trigger for us to proactively change we are relying on an excuse, a reason to say this is why I am this way…instead of just being. Why do we need an excuse, a reason a foundation. Yes certain events moments add to the whole picture of who we are, but we can also just be. You owe no one an explanation for putting into practice the best of you. Stop waiting for approval to be the best version of yourself.
I think it’s quite apparent within my previous posts that I am going through a cocoon phase. I want to emerge the other side as a butterfly, fully flourished and ready to embrace the new colours yet feel appreciative of the challenge and journey that has got me to this point. So, I am encouraging you to do the same. If you don’t like something say it, if you want new friends, reach out,make them? You want to become a photographer, take lessons, you want to be more cultural – visit museums events. Remember the worst thing someone can ever say to you is No? But even worse is always saying to yourself and never taking that first step.